Once upon a time, a group of city businessmen decided to take a
canoe trip in the backwoods of Pennsylvania. On their journey, they were
lured away from their intended trail by the eerie sounds of dueling
banjos and raucous yelling. When they inspected the sounds, they
discovered a group of the toughest women they had ever seen, who were
busy fighting each other, wrestling bears, and playing their own
makeshift version of roller derby. When the ladies realized they were
being spied on they accosted the men, who bargained for their lives by
offering to take the woodland women to State College, where they could
learn the real rules of roller derby.
And so the Pennsyltucky Punishers were brought
out of Pennsyltucky to compete in real derby and to (attempt) to live
as regular members of society.
After sessions at SCAR Derby's Rollerskate Reformatory and School for Wayward Women, the Pennsyltucky Punishers are ready to take on their rivals, the
Mt. Nittany Mayhem, in the 2013 season opener this Saturday. Will our
backwoods beauties prevail? Come to the Third Annual St. Valentine’s Day
Massacre to see for yourself.
Wanna see who's playing? Check out the roster!
